Trauma Isn’t What Happened—It’s What Happened Inside You: A Trail Tool for Making Sense of Trauma

Trauma isn’t reserved for war zones or headlines.

It happens in classrooms and kitchen tables. In relationships that erode you one comment at a time. In families that look fine on the outside but never made space for your feelings. In years of silently pushing through because you didn’t have another option.

Trauma isn’t the thing that happened. It’s the impact that thing had on your system, especially when it happened without support, without choice, or without a way to feel safe again.

The Nervous System Holds What the Mind Can’t

When something overwhelming happens and your body can’t run or fight, it does the only thing it can:It freezes. It goes numb. It stores the experience deep in the nervous system, waiting for safety that never came.

That’s why trauma shows up years later—not as memory, but as pattern.

• You flinch when someone raises their voice

• You shut down in conflict

• You don’t trust people, even when they’ve done nothing wrong

• You feel like something’s always “off,” but can’t name what it is

You’re not overreacting. You’re responding from a place that never got to fully feel what happened.

Why It Feels Like You’re “Stuck”

Clients often come to me saying things like:

• “I know it’s in the past, so why does it still affect me?”

• “Other people had it worse—so why can’t I move on?”

• “I’ve done the mindset work, but I still feel on edge or numb.”

Here’s the truth: Trauma isn’t logical. It’s biological.

No amount of insight can calm a nervous system that doesn’t feel safe. Healing isn’t about rewriting the past. It’s about teaching your body that now is not then. That you’re safe enough now to begin softening. And that takes time, co-regulation, and a lot of self-compassion.

Trail Tool: The “Now vs. Then” Body Check-In

When you feel triggered, overwhelmed, or dissociated, try this grounding practice to reorient your nervous system to the present moment.

Ask yourself:

• “What year is it?”

• “Where am I?”

• “Am I safe enough right now to feel my feet on the floor?”

Place your hand somewhere that feels calming—chest, belly, back of neck—and say: “This is now. That was then. I survived.”

You don’t need to feel safe yet. You just need to offer your body a bridge between past and present. That’s where healing begins.

What Healing Really Looks Like

It’s not always dramatic. Sometimes it looks like learning to breathe deeply again. Sometimes it’s recognising that your “people pleasing” is a trauma response. Sometimes it’s letting yourself rest, without guilt, for the first time in years.

You don’t have to confront it all at once. You don’t even have to remember everything.

You just need safety. Support. And space. And that’s what therapy can offer—a place where your body no longer has to be on high alert. Where the parts of you that learned to survive can start to live.

If this resonated, and you’re ready to start your trauma healing journey—softly, slowly, and in your own time—you can get in touch here.

With warmth and wildness, Sarah x

BACP & NCPS Accredited Psychotherapist

Rewild your mind. Come home to yourself.