Is CBT Right for Me? What Therapy Should Actually Feel Like

If you’ve ever searched “therapy near me,” chances are Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) was one of the first things to pop up.

It’s everywhere, offered through the NHS, suggested by GPs, recommended in self-help books, even baked into wellness apps. And to be clear: CBT has value. It’s a structured, practical approach that offers short-term tools for managing thoughts and behaviours. For many people, that’s exactly what’s needed.

But here’s the bit we don’t talk about enough: CBT isn’t the whole story. And if it hasn’t worked for you—or if it felt like putting a plaster over something deeper, you’re not doing therapy wrong. You’re just ready for something else.

What Is CBT?

CBT focuses on the idea that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are all linked. If we can spot distorted or unhelpful thinking, we can change how we feel and act. It’s goal-oriented, time-limited, and often very structured—think worksheets, mood diaries, and thought-challenging exercises.

For some people, especially those facing a specific issue like health anxiety, panic attacks, or phobias, this structure can be life-changing. It offers clarity, containment, and a sense of agency.

When CBT Might Not Be Enough

But what if your anxiety isn’t just about distorted thinking?What if your depression isn’t “negative self-talk,” but a freeze response to years of stress or trauma? What if you know your thoughts aren’t logical, and they still won’t stop?

This is where CBT can fall short. It works well at the surface, but healing often lives deeper.

Many of the clients I work with have tried CBT and felt like they were failing at it. They understood the models. They filled out the forms. But something inside still felt stuck, unseen, or untouched.

That’s not failure. That’s your nervous system asking for something more.

What Therapy Should Actually Feel Like

Good therapy shouldn’t just change your thoughts—it should change how safe you feel in your body. It should help you come out of hypervigilance or shutdown. It should help you feel met, not managed.

That kind of therapy can’t always be manualised. It might look like:

• Working with your inner critic, not just disputing it

• Exploring early relational patterns and attachment wounds

• Using body-based or trauma-informed techniques to calm your system

• Sitting with what’s messy, unknown, or unfixable—and being witnessed in it

Therapy should feel like somewhere you can breathe. Where the masks can come off. Where your therapist doesn’t rush to challenge or reframe, but stays with you in the rawness until something starts to shift from the inside out.

There’s No One Right Way

This isn’t about CBT-bashing. It’s about therapy choice. The truth is, no approach is perfect for everyone. CBT is one tool in the toolbox—and sometimes, it’s exactly what’s needed. But when it isn’t, you deserve more than “try harder.”

You deserve to be seen as a whole person, not a thought to correct.

How I Work

I’m an integrative therapist. That means I weave together a number of approaches—Schema Therapy, Attachment Theory, trauma-informed work, and body-based practices—depending on you. Not just your symptoms, but your story.

If you’ve tried CBT and it didn’t land, you’re not broken. You’re likely ready for a different kind of conversation. One that makes room for your history, your nervous system, your patterns—and your capacity to heal in your own time.

Field Notes for You:

CBT is one of many maps—but it’s not the whole territory.

You don’t have to fit a model to be worthy of care.

Healing happens when we feel safe, not when we perform recovery.

Curious what a different kind of therapy could feel like? Get in touch for a free call or explore more of my blog posts on trauma, self-worth, and reclaiming your voice.

With warmth and wildness, Sarah x

BACP & NCPS Accredited Psychotherapist

Rewild your mind. Come home to yourself