Therapy is Messy, Frustrating & Sometimes Feels Pointless — That’s the Point

No one tells you this when you start therapy: sometimes it feels like nothing’s happening. You show up week after week, spill your guts, cry a bit, rage a bit and then you leave wondering: what was the point of that?

You’re not imagining it. Therapy is messy. It can be frustrating, uncomfortable, and painfully slow. But here’s the thing: that’s exactly how it works.

The Illusion of Quick Fixes

We live in a culture hooked on instant results. Lose weight in 30 days. Learn a new skill in 10 steps. Fix your mindset in three affirmations.

Therapy doesn’t work like that. Because humans don’t work like that. We’re layered. Complex. Full of history, contradictions, and old wounds that don’t vanish just because we’ve noticed them.

Healing isn’t a straight shot from broken to fixed (spoiler: you were never broken anyway). It’s a long walk through the brambles.

The Stuck Sessions

Every therapist knows them: the sessions where you feel stuck, where silence hangs heavy, or where you go over the same old story for the tenth time.

Clients often think: I’m failing at this. I should be further along by now.

But here’s the truth: those sessions are part of the work. They’re the nervous system testing if the space is safe. They’re your psyche circling the wound, touching it gently, retreating, and trying again.

Progress is happening even when you can’t see it.

Why It Feels Pointless Sometimes

Because therapy isn’t performance. There are no gold stars, no certificates of completion, no neat arc with a triumphant ending.

It’s you showing up with your full humanity. Some weeks you’ll feel lighter. Some weeks heavier. Some weeks nothing shifts at all. But the consistency, the turning up, is what changes you.

Trail Tool: What to Remember When Therapy Feels Pointless

If you’re in that swamp of why am I even doing this?, here’s what helps:

• Notice patterns, not sessions. Don’t judge therapy on a single week. Step back and look at the bigger arc.

• Say it out loud. If you feel stuck or pointless, bring it into the room. That honesty can open new doors.

• Trust the process, not perfection. Progress doesn’t mean feeling good all the time. It means being more real, more alive, more you.

• Remember why you started. Therapy isn’t about pleasing your therapist. It’s about reclaiming yourself.

Why This Matters

If therapy always felt neat, it wouldn’t be real. Life isn’t neat. Neither is healing.

The mess, the frustration, the circling back — that’s not failure. That’s the work doing its work.

So if you’re in a season where therapy feels stuck, pointless, or unbearably slow, take heart. You’re still moving. Even if it’s underground.

Therapy isn’t meant to be a quick fix. It’s meant to be a lifeline. And lifelines aren’t pretty; they’re strong.

Sarah x