The Owl on the Gate: Anxiety, Watchfulness and When Stillness Is Wise

It was one of those mornings where the light hadn’t made up its mind yet.

Grey. Quiet. Everything is held in that in-between state. I rounded a corner, and there it was — a little owl, perched on a gate, completely still. Not startled. Not frozen. Just watching.

I stopped without thinking.

We’re quick to pathologise watchfulness. To label it anxiety. Hypervigilance. Overthinking. And sometimes that’s absolutely what’s happening. But not all attention comes from fear.

In my work as a psychotherapist, I meet many people whose nervous systems learned early that paying attention was protective. They notice shifts in mood, tone, and atmosphere. They read rooms instinctively. They anticipate needs before they’re spoken.

That level of awareness isn’t a flaw. It’s an adaptation.

The problem isn’t the watching. It’s never knowing when you’re allowed to stop.

Anxiety-driven hypervigilance is tight, braced, exhausting. It scans for danger because danger once arrived without warning. It doesn’t rest because rest didn’t feel safe.

But what I saw in the owl wasn’t that.

It was alert without being alarmed. Still without being frozen. Present without being tense. The kind of watchfulness that comes from trust — in itself, in its surroundings, in its ability to move if it needs to.

That distinction matters.

So many people I work with confuse discernment with danger. They’ve learned that slowing down means something bad will happen, or that staying still is avoidance. Especially those living with anxiety, where the body equates movement with control.

But sometimes staying put is wisdom.

Snake years sharpen this lesson. They ask you to pause, not because you’re failing, but because you’re paying attention. They strip back the compulsion to react so you can sense what’s actually happening.

Not every pause signals a threat. Not every still moment needs filling. Not every quiet instinct is anxiety.

Sometimes it’s awareness doing its job.

And learning the difference between hypervigilance and grounded watchfulness is one of the most regulating skills there is.

If you’re someone who’s always watching, always noticing, always ready — be gentle with that part of you. It learned its job for a reason. The work isn’t to switch it off. It’s to help it know when it’s safe to rest.

— Sarah x