Restless but Not Ready: Anxiety, ADHD and the Urge to Move Too Soon

Restlessness can feel unbearable.

It shows up as agitation. Irritation. That sense that you need to do something, even if you’re not sure what. And it’s often treated as a problem to solve — something to calm down, distract from, or push through.

But in therapy, I see restlessness differently.

Feeling restless doesn’t always mean something is wrong. Often, it means something is shifting internally — not ready yet, but no longer settled where it was.

This is especially true for people living with anxiety. When your nervous system is used to managing uncertainty by staying active, slowing down can feel threatening. Movement has meant control. Action has meant relief.

So restlessness ramps up.

There’s an urge to decide, change, leave, fix. Anything to release the pressure. But urgency isn’t the same as readiness — and confusing the two often leads to choices that don’t actually help.

In the therapy room, this shows up at crossroads. People want clarity, but their nervous system is still activated. They’re trying to move out of discomfort, rather than towards alignment.

Readiness feels different.

It’s quieter. Less frantic. More grounded. It doesn’t shout. It settles.

The challenge is learning how to pause long enough to tell the difference — especially when restlessness feels like it might swallow you whole.

Tools for the Trail

These aren’t about calming yourself down or forcing patience. They’re about creating just enough space to listen more carefully.

1. Name the Sensation, Not the Story

Try saying: “I’m feeling restless.”Not “I need to do something” or “I’m failing to cope.”

Naming the sensation helps the nervous system step out of emergency mode.

2. Ask the Timing Question

Instead of “What should I do?”, ask:“Is this about now — or is this about soon?”

If it’s “soon,” you’re allowed to wait.

3. Move Without Deciding

If stillness makes things worse, try movement with no outcome:

• walking without a destination

• stretching without a plan

• physical tasks that don’t require decisions

This lets the body discharge energy without forcing action.

4. Delay the Decision (Briefly)

Tell yourself you’ll revisit the question in 20 minutes. Notice what changes — the intensity, the urge, the clarity.

Often, something softer emerges underneath the urgency.

5. Listen for the Quieter Voice

Urgency shouts. Readiness whispers.

After the edge eases, ask: “What would moving with integrity look like here?”

If there’s no answer yet, that’s information — not failure.

Restlessness isn’t the enemy. It’s a signal.

Sometimes it’s pointing you forward. Sometimes it’s asking you to wait until the ground feels steadier beneath your feet.

Learning the difference is part of trusting yourself again.

If you’re feeling restless right now, try not to outrun it. Stay with it long enough to learn what it’s protecting — or preparing. You don’t have to force movement to prove you’re okay.

— Sarah x